Rednex – “Cotton Eye Joe”
Novelty European techno is not a genre noted for its multitude of artistic high points.
So bad, they're good
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The very worst songs known to Humanity
Toploader – “Dancing in the Moonlight”
An Ikea advert made into music
Ricky Martin – “She Bangs”
“She looks like a flower but stings like a bee/Like every girl in his-to-ry!”
Nickleback- “How you remind me”
Nirvana for people who don’t like music
Colour Me Badd – “I Wanna Sex You Up”
A five-gallon tub of Astroglide from Costco
Captain Beefheart – “Ice Cream for Crow”
Oh no, who let crazy Uncle Peter near the microphone?
Billy Joel – “We didn’t start the Fire”
Fire in the (a) hole!
Elton John – “Sacrifice”
This should be sacrificed to the Devil for the good of Humanity
Simon & Garfunkel – “The Sounds of Silence”
If Frasier Crane were a song, he would sound like this
The Mock Turtles – “Can you dig it?”
As found in the 50p pile in Oxfam
Uncle Kracker – “Follow Me”
Uncle Krapper, more like
Luis Fonsi featuring Daddy Yankee – “Despatico”
Music for entitled Spanish Exchange students
Meat Loaf – “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)”
Like the indigestible foodstuff that Mr Loaf named himself after, this heavy stodge is equally difficult to stomach
Savage Garden – “Truly Madly Deeply”
I want to push you off a mountain. I want to drown you in the sea.
Ja Rule featuring Ashanti – “Mesmerize”
The most hated man in hip-hop — for good reason!
Dire Straits – “Walk of Life”
If only it was the Walk of Death for this abomination of a song
New Kids on the Block – “Hangin’ Tough”
“Don’t cross our path or you’re gonna get stomped!” Scary!
Wang Chung – “Dance Hall Days”
Everybody Wang Chung tonight
Bryan Adams – “The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me is You”
Welcome to the dark ages of the 1990s…
THEN JERICO – “BIG AREA”
Currently residing in the “where are they now” file
The Beatles – “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da”
“If you want some fun — heh-heh-heh-heh! — take ob-la-di-bla-da!” Jesus wept…
Eagles – “New Kid in Town”
Middle of the road drivel from the Soft Rock SadSacks
Right Said Fred – “I’m Too Sexy”
Ironically, the least sexy song ever made
Pink Floyd – “Breathe”
The musical equivalent of Mogadon
Celine Dion – “My Heart Will Go On”
Like some kind of Horror-Android from Dimension Dreck, Ms Dion goes on and on and on and on and on.